Ignore the name — buy
Stock in FraudCo and buy a
Hell of lot, now

Freud’s zombie will rise
And show even more of an
Interest in brains

If you don’t mark it
Down you’ll never sell that A-
Bomb at your yard sale

Too competitive
For your own good, you’ll challenge
A bear to a race

Show compassion for
Others even when it’s their
Own fault they got mauled

Eating the heart of
Your landlord won’t help your cause
Against the rent hike

You’re just the kind of
Person who would pay to have
Sex with a pony

Your film Bible 2:
Electric Boogaloo will
Be a sleeper hit

Look, I can’t be held
Liable if you ever
Should heed my advice

By reading this you
Are agreeing to grant me
Control of your life

Venus is in the
House, which means get ready for
A killer party

Sex is your reward
For a job well done, and your
Partner’s punishment